Battle of the Brands

I recall very clearly when I was in elementary school, and was first introduced to brand wars. My father and mother dressed both my brother and I conservatively: khakis or jeans, three button polos or button down broadcloths, etc... I guess it would be described as your basic preppy look, even though I constantly refused to pop my collar.

I remember that all my short-sleeve three button shirts had a little alligator crest on the left chest, and for this I was constantly ridiculed for not wearing Polo brand shirts. After spending most of one evening crying in my father's arms about how the other kids would tell me that their Polo horse and rider could kick the crap out of my wimpy alligator, he assured me that I indeed was wearing a polo. In fact, in fashion, the definition of a polo shirt is a three button, collared, short sleeve shirt. He told me that Ralph Lauren bogarted the term polo and applied it to a line of his own clothing. I was also wearing a polo shirt, but it was a Lacoste brand, which he told me was even better than Polo because it was European and not marketed into the ground the way Polo was...it was an under the radar brand that only the elites knew about.

Armed with this information I was quite sure the next day at school would go much different. So sure of myself and what I thought would be my ability to boggle these simpletons with my new found wisdom and cunning wit, I wore my Lacoste proudly with my chest shoved out in a vain attempt to make that little alligator bigger. I will say that my recess that day was different than all my prior recesses throughout my elementary school years.

When my father came home later that night and saw his son with an ice pack over his eye, he realized how dire the situation had gotten. We went out to a store in town and bought a bunch of new shirts emblazoned with the Brooks Brother's golden fleece. B-squared (as we call it) was known to be the elite of the elite of the preppy brands, and with a little brand name dropping I was able to avoid any further punishment, verbal and physical, from the Legions of Lauren (LOL for short...anyone else see the irony?)

Now, when I go shopping for polo shirts I'm bombarded with all kinds of logos: Horses, fleeces, ducks, corporate names and yes...yes, that little alligator. Who would have known that this little creature that was the cause of torment and pain in my childhood would resurface on shirts, belts, shoes, hats and every other conceivable piece of clothing and accessory one can think of, as one of the hottest chic/trend brands going today?

With all that in mind, I think I'll start my own line of clothing. DoDo couture (that's Doe-doe...after the bird). And guess what the symbol is going to be? It might not be big now, but when the early 2000's become retro...I'll be laughing all the way to the bank.