Employ your filter

So, I found out this past weekend that I actually have a filter. You know, that brief moment when you actually engage your brain and assess the possible outcomes or consequences before you spew forth the oratorical sludge of a healthy cynical rant.

Yeah, I've got a filter and I really surprised myself on several occassons in the last couple of days. And now that I think back on it, it was kind of a refreshing change, but I can see a couple of problems that I might have to work on, on a personal level.

1) If I choose to employ the filter, I have very little to say. If I'm around people who are not easily offended by childish, scatalogical and all around gutter humor, I've got a good chance of being the life of the party, but in family situations...hmmm, no, not so much. I become the lump on the couch, the fly on the wall. Note to self: educate self on epistemology, existentialism, metaphysics and fluctuating insurance rates...you know, the stuff people REALLY like to talk about.

2) While certain thoughts may not transform into a soundwave through the use of this wonderful thing I like to call a "voice," it does not mean that these thoughts do not run through my head; generally leaving me in the uncomfortable situation of having to apologize for that sudden burst of laughter that couldn't be contained when Grandma began explaining the issues she faced with regards to her gas leak. (How was I suppose to know she was talking about the oven?)

I should really come with a warning label:

"If Jason v.78, begins laughing to the point of urination during a discourse on the atrocities of Post-Post-Modernism and its current role in society – Please disregard. Filter mode is ON. Please do not ask for an explanation, simply ignore. The Jason v.78 will automatically reboot in safe mode and continue normal functioning momentarily."